Tuesday, December 14, 2010

The Pink Ninja Stalks Security... a Memoir

When I was in my late teens/early twenties I worked in the toy department at a store we shall not name. :) They started me on third shift until they realized with my long brown hair and my name badge that read "Kimberly" I was a ringer for one of the season's most popular toys... yep you guessed it - the pink power ranger. So, they split my shift and had me start coming in earlier hours.

I did not have to dress in a costume or anything goofy like that. I still got to wear my regular clothes but I did have to deal more with the public. I worked register in the toy department for part of my shift and was expected to smile at people. I WAS SHOCKED at how many kids came up and shyly asked for my autograph. The kids were cute and being mistaken for a ninja was kind of cool. Dealing with the grumpy parents looking for a sold out toy ... not so much.

I began to get a little frazzled from all the attention and my nametag which had previously read "I Can Help!" had now somehow mysteriously been altered to simply read "Help!" (Which my manager did not find amusing).

So, getting into the ninja personality and deciding I needed a way to deal with the stress of the grumpy Christmas shoppers me and a coworker I will call Penny to protect her innocence (yeah right) took up a new hobby.

We thought the undercover security guards were a little silly with how obvious they would be running from aisle to aisle (and throwing their back against the new aisle when they got there, arms out peeking around the corner to see if anyone was in it, blatantly forgetting the rest of the store could still see them)trying to be sneaky but giving away that they were security with their actions. So, as soon as the second shift ended and our third shift started we began "the hunt". Every night we would carefully take some of the Nerf bow and arrows and the Nerf guns out of their packages and stalked security. We figured it would teach them to be sneakier - or at the very least they would learn to hide themselves better. We were having fun at least knowing that we were sneakier than security because for a very long part of the holiday season they never saw us and we thought that was hilarious. We would follow along behind them lining up our shots saying where we could have hit them. One time we even hid up in the bean bags and could have ambushed them from above. It was so funny.

Some of our coworkers in the department thought it was so funny they didn't mind stocking our aisles for us while we hunted. We usually limited it to our lunch breaks and short 15 minute breaks. Some of our coworkers smoked and we didn't so we would take a 5 minute "hunt" break after each of our coworkers' cigarette breaks. We also would use walkie-talkies so they could let us know when security was getting close to the toy department so we could get back to work weapons hidden, security none-the wiser. It wasn't like our game was giving them extra work we still did our fair share. Multi-tasking people we weren't total slackers - we were NINJAS - we did it all. We were awesome!

Well, the first time we actually captured one of the guards was hilarious. We were both FED UP with the grumpy Christmas people shoppers and figured it was time to get a new job. This was the night we were going to unload and bombard security with every Nerf bullet and every Nerf arrow we could carry. Thing is, NOT ONLY did we not get into trouble... they laughed at us. They were embarrassed when we told them how long we had been stalking them, especially since they had not noticed us doing it before. They thought it was so much fun they asked us to help keep our eyes peeled for shoplifters and joked we should shoot them. Then they picked up Nerf guns and started hunting us back AND FLIRTING UGH! We both ended up staying at the job a few years longer after the holidays we got sent to different departments. Security still stalked us wanting to learn our ninja skills.

I guess that is proof that Ninjas are just too cool for words.

24 comments:

  1. AWESOME! You TOTALLY need to enter a link to this at my other blog... about LIGHT-HEARTED at http://www.zensationalliving.com/blog

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  2. p.s My daughters favorite was Kimberly - the Pink Power Ranger, lol. We still have one or five in a box!

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  3. That would have been fun to watch. I can just see you stalking through the aisles, hunting your prey. No wonder your so good at playing Assasins.
    And come to think about it, that means I married a super powered Ninja. YAY

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  4. Funny story! Believe it or not, my son was into the Power Rangers. I believe he liked the white one, but I'm not totally sure. But he might have gotten a kick out of seeing you in the toy store (seeing as he was probably a teenager when they were popular - he's 28 now).

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  5. The pink power ranger was awesome! You must have been honored to play her.

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  6. I, too, have worked in a store that we will not name....and if customers knew half the crap we did while at work...

    Well, we won't go there! Anyway, I didn't want to be one of those "new" followers that you sit there and go, "Ok, who the h*ll is this crazy person following me?" (Ok, ok, so I AM crazy, but at least I was polite enough to let you know you now had a new crazy blog stalker lady!(not really, but it sounds good.))

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  7. @ Sheila - I tried to put a link up on the zensational blog but it didn't show up... are you moderating them? If not I will try again tomorrow.

    @ Joanna - thank you! :)

    @ Matt you think I am cool now but just wait till next time I am mad at you.... LMAO

    @ Stacy thanks! Yeah I was about 19-20 when I worked there which would have put him at about 13-14

    @ Rick - at the time I enjoyed getting the attention from the little kids and being treated special by work BUT HATED being teased by my friends and coworkers. LOL NOW I look back on it fondly.

    @ Misfit Mommy Thank you for saying hi!! :) I love it when I get new readers.

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  8. That's too funny! A creative and safe way to relieve stress and be awesomely cool, too!

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  9. Ninjas are the most awesome people ever.

    http://ficklecattle.blogspot.com/

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  10. I'm always being asked for my autograph - unfortunately my biggest fan is my bank manager.

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  11. História engraçada, muito mais quando o slogan "posso ser ajudar" que para o inglês tem a expressão help com duplo sentido de socorro e ajudar, imaginei a situação. Legal gostei enjoy a lot this article.

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  12. Obrigado muito. Fico feliz que tenham gostado

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  13. Oh man I loved the power rangers...I will not bust out with the song nor all of the names of all the rangers! haha Kimberly was my fav along with Tommy (the green ranger.) Never missed an episode.

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  14. When work gets unbearable, fun people often ramp up the goofy just to survive. I like your style.

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  15. It must be national Ninja week! You are funny!

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  16. Funny - and I could see it play out ahead of me. ;)

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  17. Hello Kimber returned to comment on his comment on my blog, I got a flea in the ear and remembered now, funny how things repeat themselves through other people in the '80s, a friend who lives in France, a real friend not virutal, she said the same thing you wrote on my blog, I was thinking, thinking and remembered this. What did I do? I made a phone call and talked a long time, your comment was so wonderful I could have the privilege to speak again with a dear friend she called Adele. I read and enjoyed other stories from your blog.

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  18. I love nerf darts too. I am not that good at using them though. That is why we mainly just lined up our shots and pretended to take them rather than actually taking them!

    I am glad you reconnected with your friend! Your poem was beautiful. I enjoy the Portuguese language every since my class in it in college. The poetry is so beautiful! :)

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  19. I want to say that the black ranger was my favorite, but he wasn't. Sorry whatshisname. I loved that show, though and I secretly watched it when my son wasn't around. The pink ranger kicked ass!

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  20. I want to stalk some security. Do they have a nerf sniper-rifle?

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