Sunday, April 29, 2012

A Box of "Cocks" and Duct Tape

We had company over, like we do every other Sunday evening. There were, in fact 9 adults in the room at the moment my son D. and his friend M. got home from church youth group tonight. They marched into the room carrying a box grinning and announced to all their findings. At first I didn't see anything wrong with what they said, all I really heard was "duct tape" until I saw my friend H. to my left melting into her chair. She was shaking wtih laughter tears pouring down her face.

I wasn't sure quite what was so funny so I waited until my mother-in-law left from dropping the boys off to ask, "What did they say they found?"

Almost in tears she answered "Caulk and duct tape"

"Oh," I said. Then a minute later it hit me what it had sounded like my thirteen year old had found while at church. A box of cocks and duct tape!! My husband called him back up stairs realizing the same thing at the same time I did. Who finds cocks in a box outside the church?! That is hilarious.

"Hey D.," he said grinning, "how many cocks did you find at the church?"

"Nine or Ten," D. answered not quite catching on yet that his dad had said cock instead of caulk.

"Did you let the minister know you found them?" I asked.

"Yeah," D. answered, "We offered our caulks to the minister but he didn't want them."

At this point M. understood why we were all the adults in the room were giggling like small children and he began choking on his food and began to laugh as well. When he laughed D. got it too and they both laughed really hard. The look on the faces of those adolescent boys when they realized what it had sounded like they had been talking about all night was PRICELESS!

Turns out they found the caulk and duct tape abandoned and half buried in a creek bed behind the church. I didn't want to know or bother to ask what they were doing there. I figure it must have something to do with why D. likes youth group so much. That and the fact that he met his girlfriend there.

"Probably was construction worker cocks," someone cried out (more mass giggling in the room).

M. announced to the room, "Just so you all know we are organ donors," then the boys exited the room still laughing and went downstairs to play XBOX.

I now have this incredibly strong urge to go to Home Depot and ask them how many different brands of "cock" they sell. I also want to stand in the caulk aisle and announce loudly to the world "I am in the cock aisle." I wonder how many stores I can get away with that in before someone catches on?

To make it worse, M.'s mom is remodeling her home and her husband is in Pakistan - we had to bite our tongue to keep from offering to send some "cock" home for her.

Believe it or not we were NOT drinking - our minds just really work that way. (Sigh) I love my friends!

Sunday, April 15, 2012

How it Really Works......

My friend L. was over a couple of weeks ago and she wanted to watch this television show called "My Strange Addiction". I have to say the show has stuck with me all this time later, I am still thinking about it.

In the show there was a man who had an intimate sexual relationship with his car. Seriously, he was tongue kissing the front grill and grinding up on the side of it and everything. I know everyone is different and people all have their quirks and we all need to be accepting and understanding but even I think that this one is a little bit weird. I guess I would say to him what I say to all my friends no matter who or what they are dating - just don't make out with your __________ in front of my kids, and as long as you have love I am happy for you.

My friend who is quite a bit more innocent than I am and quite a bit more easily offended was cringing and freaking out at the guy's antics. I looked over at her and couldn't resist a little bit of a tease trying to get a rise out of her so I said, "Oh COME ON NOW, how do you think Transformers really got made? Seriously, L.!"

She laughed and was about to reply when my daughter - who had also been watching the show and not listening to her iPod as it had appeared - piped up, "No mommy you are wrong, that is a boy car they are in a homosexual relationship, they would have had to adopt a transformer man car baby from a heterosexual coupling."

OMG!!!!!! WHAT? LMAO. L. at this point has turned beet red and I am not sure if she is going to laugh or is incredibly embarrassed so I let it go and we just keep watching till it occurs to me that there might have been dead bugs or bird poop on the grill he was french kissing and licking......

I wonder if he thinks the car is talking to him through whatever comes on the radio? When it plays advertisements does he think it is hinting to him about dates it would like to go on?

Then later, when everyone had gone to bed, I had to ask my husband, "Do you think he sees used car lots as brothels?"

Yes, dear friends, that is how my twisted mind works!

Sorry I haven't posted in so long - I have been out sick. I have also been incredibly busy working on finishing up my degree (graduate in June) and working in 2 different undergraduate labs (oh the stories I could and probably will tell!) I am feeling much much much better now and am back to amuse you hopefully on a more regular basis.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

You Wanna Give Me a WHAT?

So, last Saturday I fell on the ice. It was a BAD fall that resulted in me going to the emergency room and spending quite a long day there. Let me tell you about that!

In the emergency room - the orderly looked like a young Judd Nelson (not so bad), there was a guy walking around that looked like a homeless pirate (poofy white shirt, black pants and boots, gold hoop earring, but he was dirty, wearing a ripped knit cap, fingerless gloves and carrying a starbucks coffee), and a guy that looked like Santa Claus in a train conductors outfit and this was ALL WITHOUT DRUGS! LOL I thought I may have been hallucinating from pain but others saw it too and confirmed it! I was not dreaming it.

So - they begin their assessment of me. My right hand is swollen and bruised, my left leg is swollen and bruised from my ankle all the way to my hip and pelvis. The doctor ordered x-rays after masochistically doing the routine poking, prodding and asking does this hurt after making you scream a few times.

They take me to the x-ray room and we start with the hand. That was not fun - I could not get my ring or pinky finger to touch my thumb like the x-ray tech wanted me to - they had to actually move it for me. Luckily at this point the ice Judd Nelson had gotten me was kicking in so I was pretty numb to being moved around - but it still hurt pretty badly. Next came the leg x-rays. I was so swollen it was incredibly hard to move from the bed to the x-ray table. They took the x-rays of my ankle, my knee, my hip and pelvis as well as a few shots of my ankle to my knee - all from different angles. I almost passed out a few times. It was excruciating. I did my best to focus on staying quiet and just moving the way they needed me to without passing out. I know there were tears pouring down my face and they were actually repelled at how bad the sprain looked. They were being very careful with how they touched me and moved me around. The bump on the side of the ankle that is naturally there was swollen out and people kept commenting that it looked like I actually had two of those bone bumps on one side. Then we got me back onto the bed and wheeled me back to the emergency room.

We find out nothing is broken (YAY) but that sprains and bruised bones can take longer to heal and be more painful than breaks (not so yay). Next comes the fun part. They decide to try to give me something called a COCKUP.


Yes you heard me right...the doctor wanted to give me his cockup.

Apparently that is the name of a wristbrace. ha ha ha The only reason I could possibly ascertain for this is that once you have it on it traps your hand in the position a man would potentially be holding his hand should he want to masturbate. (Yes I have a dirty mind - Dad, Mom - if you are reading this sorry - but seriously how else would you rationalize calling something that goes on your hand a cockup?).

So, they go searching for the cockup and they also wrap my ankle and put it in an aircast. They decide I also need crutches and to keep my weight off my ankle BUT WAIT - since my wrist is sprained too I can only use ONE crutch and will have to just do the best I can to get around and keep my weight off my leg.

So, they can't find the cockup in my size and call upstairs to see if the orthepedist will give me his cockup. Nope - he didn't have the right size either so they decided to custom make a wrist splint for me - which ended up being a partial cast. They CASTED my wrist.

While we were waiting the nurse got us some food - which was really sweet. I would have starved otherwise I think. She was really sweet. I don't how she kept a straight face telling me how everyone wanted to give me their cockups and all. But anyways eventually they got me into my wrist cast too and I finally got to go home.

That is not the end of the story though....

I navigate through the icy, treacherous week on one crutch. Trying not to use my hand too much. Staying off my leg as much as possible since my official diagnosis is sprained wrist, sprained ankle, sprained knee, and sprained pelvis, with possible bruised hip and bruised bones in all aforementioned areas I go to my college classes on the days when they are not cancelled and keep my leg propped up on pillows as well as my hand. I type one handed when on the computer and try to limit my texting as much as possible. Thursday - the long day at my college was the worst - I almost passed out at one point from the pain and exhaustion of it. It was a terrible day. In fact it was a terrible week. Pretty much everything hurts. The injuries hurt extremely bad but then the muscles on the other side of my body hurt because they are compensating extra hard trying to move me around on the crutches being used in ways they are not used to being used. It is making me grumpy and over-emotional. I do not like not being able to do things for myself - I am EXTREMELY and TEARFULLY grateful to the friends that have come over and visited or helped out and to the friends who have called or emailed to check on me or chat. I am also grateful to the friends at school who have offered to take notes for me or help me navigate from class to class or carry things for me. I am also grateful the friends who have agreed to meet me on campus and carry my lunch tray so I will be able to eat - even though classes were cancelled and it didn't happen. Thank you to everyone!!! I still need that help keep it coming. I am overwhelmed by how you are there for me and I appreciate every second of it and I won't forget it ever. You are really showing me who my true friends are. The kindness is really appreciated right now.

SO, my follow up with my family doctor rolls around 6 days later.
I have been on my feet too much. The wrist is still too swollen. She cannot tell if there is ligament or tendon damage in either place. She gave me nasty painful shots to reduce swelling. She told me I need to be on TWO CRUTCHES, and wrote me a prescription for .... A COCKUP. LMAO She told me I would need to go in so the pharmacist could fit me for it. HA HA HA is a cockup something insurance pays for? Really? When I got to the pharmacy apparently it is something you can just buy over the counter.

Why does everyone think I need a cockup?

Anyways I am sorry I haven't been on much. I have still been reading everyone's blogs but haven't been responding much because typing is hard and it hurts.

Maybe after I have had my cockup a while I will feel better? Who knows? Who doesn't feel better after having a cockup for a while?

Friday, January 7, 2011

College Confessions: I'm BiTechnical

Let me explain. College started back up this week. One of my classes has a writing lab. When I walked into the lab I saw something that made me nervous and a little queasy. College is the time for experimentation though right?

It was a MAC...and I am a PC person. My preference stems from when I worked for a company I will not name, building and repairing computers. PCs were just easier to deal with overall.

I was terrified. I sat in front of the alien machine and gently touched the keyboard. It was flat and stranger than I am used to but the screen was vibrant and colorful. The lab is required for my class so whether I like it or not I was going to have to learn to make it work for the next 10 weeks. Hesitant at first, I opened a browser window, it was a little strange to see things placed differently but overall it functioned very similar.

When the TA came in and had us use EXCEL for our lab work (combining statistics and psychology) I began to get a little bit more comfortable with it. EXCEL is a program I am familiar with and to see that it pretty much ran the same on a MAC made me relax. Maybe I would make it through this experience after all!

So I guess the first week back at college after winter break changed me a little bit. I learned that I am no longer strictly a PC person. I can use MACS too - I am Bi-technical.

Which do you prefer MACS or PCs? Apple or ANYTHING ELSE PLEASE? LOL

This quarter is looking like it is going to be a busy one. If you are a regular reader hang in there. I will try to post as often as I can but I am juggling 17 credit hours with tons of homework and lab work too. I am taking a chemistry class and three 300 level Psych classes one of which is considered writing intensive. My chemistry class is also considered writing intensive because of the labs and lab reports required.

We are learning some pretty neat stuff in lectures though. My first class of the day is Behavioral Neuroscience II. That is my concentration in psychology and I love it. Right now in there we are studying psychopharmacology and the effects of drugs on the body as well as the effects of placebos.

After Behavioral Neuroscience I run across campus for my Research Methods in Psychology lab which is about learning to read, write and incorporate statistics into your research writing and how to use the APA style correctly. Then after that lab I run all the way back across campus for the Research Methods Class that goes with the lab where we learn different ways to conduct research and how to think like more like a scientist.

After that I have to run back across campus again for my Chemistry class (literally I am going from one far end of campus to the other in a very short span of time - running and pulling 60 pounds of books behind me. I should lose weight this quarter.) The Chemistry is the first of a series of three Chemistry classes I need to take if I want to be able to have the additional science distinction on my degree. (I previously had a college level Chemistry class but this particular series of three are specifically needed as part of my requirements.) The class is on Tuesdays and Thursdays and so far I am doing okay with it. The math parts of it may get a little difficult as we progress but so far it isn't too bad and I am really intelligent so I am confident I will do okay. I got an A in Statistics last quarter so I should be okay with the math. I am finding it easier to pay attention in class now that I am older and actually there to learn instead of worrying about a social life, boyfriend, or who is having a party. The labs for the class are on Mondays and Wednesdays and they start next week.

After Chemistry I have I/O psychology in the same building (no running this time yay). It is a pretty interesting class too. It is about psychology in the workplace. Psychology in industry and organizations. It focuses on all kinds of issues like job stress, occupational therapy, employee turnover, HR issues, and that kind of thing. We have a group project in there that counts for 40% of our grade. That scares me a little but I think we will do okay.

So - wish me luck - here is to hoping I can keep my 4.0 and my sanity as I move one quarter closer to my goals.

Monday, January 3, 2011

Life is Good

I received the Life is Good blog award from Ruthi. I had to smile about this when I saw it because ironically I have spent the last few days fighting a sinus infection! I have barely been online at all. I am sure Ruthi was wondering if I was even going to accept the award! LOL

Anyways today I am back up and around. It was the first day of college winter quarter. I headed over for my Monday chemistry lab. Still coughing a little and not in top form I left an hour early hoping to get a close parking space. NOPE - had to park a 12 minute walk from class. We got there and sat for 20 minutes to find out the labs are all cancelled the first week of class and that was the only class I had today so I walked the 12 minutes back to my car and headed home. Hey at least I remembered where I parked right?

Here are the things you have to do when you receive this award:

1. First, thank and link back to the person that gave the award.
2. Answer the 10 survey questions.
3. Pass the award along to other bloggers whom you think are fantastic.
4. Contact the bloggers you have chosen to let them know about the award.

Thank you Ruthi - Even though I whine a lot life really is good. I have a sense of humor about it and really do enjoy some of the smaller things about it. I feel I am blessed. Now to answer the survey questions:

1. If you blog anonymously, are you happy doing this? If you aren't anonymous, do you wish you started out anonymously, so that you could be anonymous now?

I might have an anonymous blog too but if I told you about it than it wouldn't be anonymous anymore would it? LOL I do like blogging as myself though. Sometimes I do censor things to protect the guilty.

2. Describe an incident that shows your inner stubborn side.

Once when I was little my Mom grounded me for a week. I kept saying "I don't care" and the week ended up going over a month. I missed out on a lot of really fun things because of my big mouth and my refusal to shut up.

3. What do you see when you really look at yourself in the mirror?

Pretty eyes, a nice smile and a woman who is getting older and has a weird haircut but is still attractive for her age and her weight.

4. What is your favorite summer cold drink?

Ice water preferrably Propel

5. When you take time for yourself, what do you do?

I love to take a bubble bath with a nice long book to read while I am in there.

6. Is there something that you still want to accomplish in your life?

I want to achieve my doctorate degree in psychology and help children with ADHD and their families. I also want to have my book published.

7. When you attended school, were you the class clown, the class overachiever, the shy person, or always ditching?

I was the band geek. And one time at band camp....

8. If you close your eyes and want to visualize a very poignant moment in your life, what would you see?

When my daughter was born and I held her in my arms and saw her for the very first time and told her how much I love her and how beautiful she is.

9. Is it easy for you to share your true self in your blog, or are you more comfortable writing posts about other people and events?

I am comfortable sharing anything. Nothing is offlimits for me. I do edit sometimes to be tactful but not always. Depends on my mood. Sometimes I lay it all out there and let the cards fall where they may. I don't try to hurt people though. I mainly try to make people laugh. If baring my soul and past stupidities achieves that - well - all the better.

10. If you had the choice to sit down and read a book or talk on the phone, which would you do and why?

I love to read - reading would be my choice. Getting lost in the pages of a good book with great characters is the best.

Now I am passing this on to :

for his heartfelt blog about the birth of his child and his playful and intelligently thought out birth announcement. He is going to be an awesome dad.

Midlife Mommy for the journey she is on in her life right now figuring things out as a single parent raising a daughter. I have been there.

Opto-Mom because I love to make people laugh and of course I also love people who make me laugh and this lady does it every time. Her post about the shoplifting ladies had me in tears and she is consistently funny with her point of view on things. Check her out.

Happy new year to everyone - hope everyone else had a better start to theirs. I am happy mine started off low - sick, and awful though - nowhere to go but up right?

Life really is good. :)

Monday, December 27, 2010

Raiders of the Lost Gift - a Holiday Recap

First off I have to say my brother made this the best Christmas ever by announcing his engagement to R. She is absolutely amazing and will be an awesome sister-in-law. We love her and think the world of her. So much so in fact that when M. and I were Christmas shopping we were talking about what to buy for her and discussed buying her an engagement ring and just telling my brother he had to marry her and didn't have a choice in the matter - we just want him to keep her. :)

The way he announced the engagement was hilarious. He was talking about how he picked R. up and took her to the zoo to see the zoo lights this year and when they got there he "found a twenty dollar bill on the ground how great is that right? Oh yeah then he asked R. to marry him and she said yes." I was so happy!! I think I posted it on Facebook from my cell phone before they could! Ha! Only by a few seconds though.

NOW on to the "lost gift" ha. When we were Christmas shopping we texted my mom for a shopping hint for my stepdad. She told us to buy him the movie Christmas Vacation - he loves Chevy Chase. Well, that is funny because that is what we bought him last year - in fact we bought him a gift set of all the vacation movies. SO, we texted her back, 'Mom - we bought him all the vacation movies last year."

She texted back to us, 'Are you sure? We can't find it anywhere.'

We emailed her a picture of him opening the gift, title blatantly showing and him smiling from ear to ear. She responded with a text asking, 'Well can you email a picture of us putting it away because that would be super helpful right now. LOL'.

The family get-together at my father's house brought a wonderful new joke from my brother's now FIANCEE! (She was the girlfriend still at the time though but anyways - I love the joke so I will share it here):
Did you know the Black Eyed Peas used to be known just as The Peas?
Then they met Chuck Norris

She is so awesome! Ha - I laughed so hard. Turns out my stepmom had no idea there was such a thing as Chuck Norris humor which led to my brother and me having a back and forth with Chuck Norris jokes for the next hour driving everyone insane (feel free to share your favorite below). It was a blast. The kids think Chuck Norris humor is hilarious because we explained it to them one day when their dad had terrible gas and we were all trapped in the car with him. He was farting something awful - practically melting the car windows and it wasn't even helping to roll them down. (I told the kids they had melted.) FInally unable to stand it anymore I said "Sheesh I bet even Chuck Norris is afraid of your ass." and they laughed the rest of the way home then asked who Chuck Norris was.

Back to the holidays... D. was in heaven at the dinner table at Grandpa and Oma's house because we hold hands for prayer there and he was seated next to R. My brother's now FIANCEE. :) He thinks she is beautiful.
Dinner was also interesting in that we had spent a long time lecturing the kids no talking about farting, burping, or any other body functions at the table as it is inappropriate LMAO and then my stepmom sat down and started talking about giving her dog Rachel Ray dog food to regulate her digestive system so that she would poop normal. OMG LOL both kids were snickering at me because I had told them not to talk about poop at the table. I heard about it later. It was funny though.

They both told Oma and Grandpa they wanted snowman poop for Christmas next year trying to get a rise out of them. They are so silly. Then we all started giving D. advice about impressing girls. So while the advice was flowing I let this gem fly, "Yeah D. and if you put a sock in your pants be sure to place it in the front." - My dad almost spit his drink out.

So carrying along the theme of inappropriateness at my prompting the three knee story got told. :)

Oma tells them, "DO you know when your Uncle M. was a little boy he told me that he had three knees? Yes he did. He said R. I have a right knee, a left knee and a wienee."

The kids fell over, peals of laughter echoing through the room. Their faces were red and they were gasping for breath.

But then she followed with, "And you mom - she told me she wanted me to have a baby so I should poke holes in the condoms. She didn't know your grandpa shoots blanks." THank goodness my kids don't know what that means! LMBO!!!

Christmas Eve open house with M.'s family was fun - I love the NOG. Not egg nog - special recipe NO NAME NOG. Made up of vodka, chipped ice, whipped cream and limeade. THere may be more stuff in it. It is really good. I had several glasses of this holiday goodness and was full of bright spirits and cheer!

Christmas Day we opened gifts at home then went over to open gifts with M's family. It was a good time. There was a big surprise and a wonderfully funny Broken Lizard reference. For any Broken Lizard fan who would get it by some unusual circumstance I ended up with something in my pocket and YES it really does feel like what Michael Clark Duncan says it feels like in the movie Slammin Salmon. The movie quote is, "It feels like a third _____ in your pants." (Well how many _____'s does he have? OMG LMAO) EMAIL ME at if you want a further explanation - not appropriate here.

Day after Christmas we went to my mother's house which is where I found out about my brother's engagement (HOORAY). Also we had more wonderful family time. We played Wii. We also played some jokes on each other. My sister gave my brother (manager of Graeter's Ice cream) a Coldstone Creamery gift certificate. I gave my stepdad a sock monkey jack-in-the-box. My stepdad gave D. something that looked like a dead blackbird. It may have been plastic or taxidermied NOT SURE and not brave enough to get close and examine it yet. He gave L. a bowl of rubber eyeballs. It was hilarious watching both kids reactions to the gag gifts. Their faces were priceless. I also got to have some yummy egg nog with Kahlua in it!

I loved seeing my niece too. At 15 months she is adorable and so much fun to watch. I wrapped her gift in shiny paper and it was fun seeing her hug the present and carry it around all over not wanting to open it just wanting to play with the pretty wrapped box. Kids are so cute!

My mom teared up when she opened the gift from me that I got for free from Collette at Raw Arts Letter Press. The giveaway was sponsered here: We Covet but she sent me a smaller one when she saw my entry. IT was absolutely beautiful and wonderful and when I graduate with my degree in psychology and I am going to buy more for my office. Here are a few photos of the amazing stuff she sent, including the Winnie the Pooh quote one I gave Mom:

I hope everyone else had a lovely holiday as well - no matter which version you celebrate! :)

Saturday, December 18, 2010

What Being an ADHD Parent is Really Like

Being the parent of an ADHD kid is different than parenting a child who focuses quicker and doesn't latch onto things or hyperfocus. We are also judged as being bad parents already by a lot of the general public and the prejudice makes us supersensitive so when our kid melts down in public it makes us want to resolve it quickly and easily as possible so we develope stratigies for handling things that do not make us look like jerks, idiots or bad parents for that matter. Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't.

L. is adorable MOST of the time. When she gets in a tantrum and hyperfocuses on whatever wrong has been done her she can be impossible to shake from it. There are good days and bad days and when a bad day hits - it hits hard.

A few strategies that USUALLY work with her and fit with her personality are:
1) Take out a cell phone or camera and take her picture - she loves modeling or pretending to model and is a total camera ham. Usually she will stop the tears or screaming and put on a huge smile snapping out of the "ugly" behavior to Diva it up and be gorgeous. Plus she loves attention and this fills the need. It is a good quick fix if we are in public.

2) Video tape the tantrum - same reason as number one. She does not like to look less than her best. She hates to be caught acting not nice. Especially if I say I am going to show the video to Grandma or Santa.

3)Whisper. Intead of yelling or getting angry I talk to her but I whisper what I am saying so that she can't hear me. I make my voice very soft. I say things like "I think it is just awful you are having such a bad day." or something nice I know she would want to hear and just loud enough I know she CAN hear it and would want to hear more but she would have to quiet down to be able to hear more.

4)Ignore it - the tantrum is happening because she wants attention if you ignore it she is not getting what she wants and it will usually die off within a short period of time. If not we isolate her to her bedroom for a short period of time until the inappropriate behavior settles down.

5) Some other form of redirection - use humor, do something bizarre or funny like make a face or be silly or tickle her to give her a small amount of attention to make her laugh and temporarily divert her attention.

TODAY at her doctor's office NONE of these strategies worked at all. She did not want to go out in the cold to go see Dr. G. (He is one of her ADHD doctors.) She also did not want to even get out of bed this morning. She was just having a grumpy day.

When people see parents carrying a two year old over their should like a sack of potatoes it is kind of cute - they nod their heads in sympathy thinking oh that poor baby is tired - I have been there, done that. But what do they think when they see them doing it to a nine year old? I think I want to cry. Hide my face in shame and embarrassment. BUT I keep on my happy face encouraging her to put on her listening ears and behave better so Daddy doesn't have to do that to her anymore!

When we finally get in the building and people are staring and wondering what is wrong with us she decides that in this room full of crowded people she is going to jump up and down on the chairs bouncing them into one another. NOT ACCEPTABLE. Both of us asked her to stop she did not listen. We said "STOP or we will MAKE YOU STOP." She did not. Hubby gently grabbed her shoulders pulled her off the chair and sat her down. She started screaming that he hurt her. I saw what he did. Everyone in the room saw what he did. HE DID NOT HURT HER. She howled the and cried unconsolably. Never mind that she had been sending the plastic chairs flying all over the crowded room into other people sitting there waiting with us. He did not hurt her. He simply made her sit down. There was no spanking, no slapping, no violence, no yelling, no temper, no forcefulness. HE simply sat her down.

Yet she sat in the psychiatrists waiting room screaming "Daddy hurt me, Daddy hurt me." and sobbed uncontrollably. A few people snickered. A few stared. Others shook their heads. Some whispered amongst themselves. I wanted to shout at them "SHE IS NOT A BAD KID AND WE ARE NOT BAD PARENTS - she gets straight A's at school - she is creative and beautiful and has limits. We are only treating her as her behavioral counselor instructed us too."

I shook my head and wanted to cry myself. I got angry at hubby for not handling it better - maybe asking her to use her energy jumping up and down on the floor away from the chairs or something. Choosing the battles better. Then mad at myself for getting mad at him. Then mad at her for embarrassing us so bad. THEN worried Children Services was going to think we abuse her and take her away even though we didn't do anything wrong at but simply because she is still sitting in a public place screaming at the top of her lungs "Daddy hurt me." A tear falls but I wipe it away and put the smile back trying my hardest to stay postive with her and snap her out of it.

Accounting called our name. L. said "I am not going I am going to sit her for an hour." Some people laughed out loud at this proclamation.
I sent hubby back without us. He went back and paid then came out with her slip to take upstairs to the doctor area. I tell him to go on without us that L. is still going to be sitting there for "How many minutes?" I ask her.

"51 minutes" she answers.

He says okay and goes on up to the doctor area.

I sit there quietly a few minutes watching her tantrum. I love her so much I just want to hold her and comfort her but the behavioral counselor says that would be rewarding the tantrum and that is not okay. It kills me not to hug her when she is so upset. So I try another tactic.

"L. you know Dr. G. loves seeing you every month. He is really going to miss you this month."

"I don't care. I am not moving for 53 minutes."

"WHAT?" I say with a giggle "Not fair - you made it go up - five minutes ago it was only 51 you made it go up. Besides I have a magic clock and it says the hour is already past and it is time to go up there now."

"NO YOU DON'T and that is not going to happen."

"Come sit by me."

"I am not going to sit where Daddy sat he hurt me."

"I don't think he hurt you. I think he embarrassed you. I don't like what he did, I think he could have handled it better but I don't like what you did either I am mad at both of you. You were knocking chairs into people and hurting them and that is not okay. Daddy needed to do what he did to stop you. That part was necessary. You don't want to hurt people do you?"


"Then you should come upstairs with me and tell daddy you are sorry."


"Okay. Well - I am still mad at you both. BUT even when I am mad - I still love you. Very much. So much it hurts."

"Can I have a piece of gum?"

"I don't have any with me. You know what. I think you need to get your butt upstairs for your doctor appointment"

"Okay - I love you mommy. I think I should tell daddy I am sorry."

"I think so too."

So she came over took my hand and we went upstairs for the doctor appointment. Just like that - at the exact time when her meds kicked in.

That is what it is like to be the parent of an ADHD kid. Does that make me a bad parent because she behaved that way. How would YOU have handled it? I don't feed her excessive sugar and she does not drink soda or eat a lot of junk food. She loves salads and drinks a ton of water. She would choose fresh fruit over a cookie any day. I had her tested for food allergies and all sorts of things AND we did a year of behavioral counseling before we decided to medicate. We do the minimal medications necessary to give her control over her behaviors and we do not do it because we are lazy parents. There is a lot of prejudice against ADHD parents out there. I know this because before I had L. I didn't even think ADHD was real. I was one of those prejudiced people. Now that I have had first hand experience as well as some college classes on it I know that it is real. I have grown and learned. Don't be judgemental or harsh - do some research into what the disease actually is. I have gone back to college to learn about it and to be able to help other kids like L. and their parents. I have learned patience and better parenting strategies that will work with any kid not just the ones that are different.

Even though it is challenging sometimes it is always rewarding. I love her so much. I feel like it has been a blessing in disguise because I am closer with my kid because of it. We have better communication - she talks to me about how she is feeling and I pay closer attention. I want to know and not only because I am worried about potential side effects from medicines but because I am relieved the meds haven't turned her into a zombie. She is so full of life and energy and such a creative fun little person. I see so much of myself in her. She is independent and intelligent and even though I have always seen that in her it has been wonderful getting her to where she is able to express that to others. I know more about her moods and what is going on with her because of this as well.

Because of her ADHD she also has a counselor she can talk to every two weeks or so about things going on in her life while she is growing up. Adolescence and life is hard enough without one - I am hoping her life will be easier because of having someone she can share the harder things about it with. Hopefully she will grow up to be more well adjusted than a lot of us did. I am grateful she shares everything with me too for now, I hope that will always continue.

So go ahead - be prejudiced - call me a bad parent I dare you. BUT in my heart I know the truth. I may not always be the most patient, I do set limits and stick with them, her tantrums before the meds kick in may annoy you if you happen to see one when we are in public, I do get frustrated sometimes and I don't give in and give her everything she wants but you know what? My kid knows she is loved - even when I am angry - and that I will always be there for her no matter what.