Sunday, April 29, 2012

A Box of "Cocks" and Duct Tape

We had company over, like we do every other Sunday evening. There were, in fact 9 adults in the room at the moment my son D. and his friend M. got home from church youth group tonight. They marched into the room carrying a box grinning and announced to all their findings. At first I didn't see anything wrong with what they said, all I really heard was "duct tape" until I saw my friend H. to my left melting into her chair. She was shaking wtih laughter tears pouring down her face.


I wasn't sure quite what was so funny so I waited until my mother-in-law left from dropping the boys off to ask, "What did they say they found?"


Almost in tears she answered "Caulk and duct tape"


"Oh," I said. Then a minute later it hit me what it had sounded like my thirteen year old had found while at church. A box of cocks and duct tape!! My husband called him back up stairs realizing the same thing at the same time I did. Who finds cocks in a box outside the church?! That is hilarious.


"Hey D.," he said grinning, "how many cocks did you find at the church?"


"Nine or Ten," D. answered not quite catching on yet that his dad had said cock instead of caulk.


"Did you let the minister know you found them?" I asked.


"Yeah," D. answered, "We offered our caulks to the minister but he didn't want them."


At this point M. understood why we were all the adults in the room were giggling like small children and he began choking on his food and began to laugh as well. When he laughed D. got it too and they both laughed really hard. The look on the faces of those adolescent boys when they realized what it had sounded like they had been talking about all night was PRICELESS!


Turns out they found the caulk and duct tape abandoned and half buried in a creek bed behind the church. I didn't want to know or bother to ask what they were doing there. I figure it must have something to do with why D. likes youth group so much. That and the fact that he met his girlfriend there.


"Probably was construction worker cocks," someone cried out (more mass giggling in the room).


M. announced to the room, "Just so you all know we are organ donors," then the boys exited the room still laughing and went downstairs to play XBOX.


I now have this incredibly strong urge to go to Home Depot and ask them how many different brands of "cock" they sell. I also want to stand in the caulk aisle and announce loudly to the world "I am in the cock aisle." I wonder how many stores I can get away with that in before someone catches on?


To make it worse, M.'s mom is remodeling her home and her husband is in Pakistan - we had to bite our tongue to keep from offering to send some "cock" home for her.


Believe it or not we were NOT drinking - our minds just really work that way. (Sigh) I love my friends!

17 comments:

  1. Worst thing was wondering why there would be a box of cocks, but why it would also contain duct tape!

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  2. Lost a word... the worst thing was NOT wondering why there would be a box of cocks...

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    Replies
    1. I know right? LOL - maybe for later reattachment purposes?? Ha ha ha - Have you seen Human Centepede 2? Luckily my son hasn't!

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    2. Bet they don't show THAT movie at youth group!

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  3. You do realize that waiting until your mother-in-law leaves the room before having these conversations doesn't help much if you blog about it?

    (mother-in-law)

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    Replies
    1. I figured D. would tell you about it anyways! In my defense it was his father who pointed out to him what it sounded like, and one of our friends who noticed to begin with. I just thought it was really funny!

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  4. Kimber, I had a bit of a giggle myself. Thanks for sharing it.

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  5. I probably would have died laughing on the spot. Still got a laugh out of me, though, thanks!

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    1. I laughed hard enough I had some tears! The best part was the look on his face when he realized what it sounded like. Thanks for stopping by! :)

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  6. As my redneck hubby says- you can fix ANYTHING with duct tape!!!! We have all kinds of great designs like leopard print and camo. Scary thing is- he's a plastic surgeon.

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    Replies
    1. I like looking at theprom dresses people make from duct tape - they are awesome! Thanks for stopping by!

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